Election night coverage back in the UK in 1997 was so delightfully British. Whatever side of the political fence you were on, anyone who stayed up late to watch the results couldn’t have failed to be amused. Amongst the other candidates a seven foot transvestite candidate, “Miss Money Penny’s Glamorous One Party”, towered over the others as the returning officer announced the results. She/he wasn’t the only quirky candidate that night, there were others represented up and down the country.
So when I was invited by an American to go to a U.S election watching party in Geneva on Tuesday night, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would there be anything equally surreal, would it be momentous, would it be serious, who would be there?
Fashion and fun at the start
Moving to a new country can be daunting. There are a lot of issues to be dealt with. Unpacking of boxes, official paperwork, a new language, learning the ropes of a new job, settling children into school, discovering the nuances of the country, all these and more can make it a stressful time.
So sometimes it’s good to get together with others in the same situation, whether it’s to ask advice on where to find the local déchetterie, or how to make a good fondue. Meeting folk who are going through, or have gone through the same situation, can be helpful and often cathartic.
Suzy
Last night was by far the best of the week. Arriving early we went off to La Ruche where I wanted to watch my friend in a circus show. Ecole Atelier Shanju is a circus/horse riding/theatre school based in Ecublens, and they put on a fantastic spectacle at 4pm yesterday in the circus part of the Paleo. Juggling whilst standing on horses, drumming, balancing off hoops and acting, they pulled off an impressive show in the late afternoon heat.
Suzy
A slight delay in the posting of this blog is due to the stupid time we got to bed last night, and consequentially the fact that we got up an hour ago. I distinctly remember my clock reading 6.10AM before I closed my eyes.
This is the way football should be. A true celebration of the beautiful game. During the three weeks of Euro 2008, Swiss,Turkish, Spanish, Portugese, German, French, Russian, Dutch and other nationalities all congegrated in the UBS Arena in Nyon.
Not once did I see any violence, any problems, or confrontations. All I saw was a healthy respect for each other’s country.
The arena was not just a place for fans, it was also a place where parents could feel comfortable about bringing their children too.
There were days when the downpours made the atmosphere more subdued; on others the fans cheered on in baking heat. Plenty of beer was drunk on the hot nights but there never seemed to be any over-drunkenness.
Some evenings saw the arena packed; at other times there were not many folk, but throughout it all there was a spirit of bonhomie. There was collective sighing and booing at the referees, frustration at missed shots and sheer joy when goals were scored.
After matches the crowd often congregated around the railway station and it became a noisy, but fun place to be. The police were there but kept a healthy distance, with an eye on it all whilst smiling at the fun. The law about the tooting of car horns was completely ignored, they just let the fans celebrate. If there were any problems, I didn’t see any any. What I did see impressed me enormously.
The Spanish fans were in joyous mood last night around Nyon but those whose team didn’t make it still got in their cars to wave flags and be part of the celebrations. A fitting way for a town that has the headquarters of UEFA along its lakeside.
This is how football should be. The football fans of Nyon should be proud of themselves.
Robert W. Schiesher
June 20, 1922 – March 14, 2008
My father died from cancer related issues on March 14th. With this entry, I would like to share his life with you. With my next entry, I will share the impact of his life on me and my family. My dad was very Catholic and very spiritual and the eulogy which follows reflects those characteristics.
My dad was a devoted husband. In his 62 years of marriage to my mom, Lorraine, he was a loyal and loving husband. His care for mom was constant and selfless. Neighbors at Tequesta Gardens, where my parents lived for the past three years, lovingly referred to dad as Saint Bob for the care they could see him giving her.
He was an ideal father who taught his six children simply through his example. He was not a man of many words and often stumbled when trying to express himself, especially when caught up in his freely expressed emotions. He never criticized us, was always gentle and supportive and showed us what unconditional love really means in practice. After dinner, for example, after a hard day at work and before going back to work for the evening, he would lay on the living room floor for a short nap. We took advantage of the easy access and would crawl all over him. He never once told us to leave him alone.
Dad was a servant of Jesus. From as long as we can remember, he gave friends a ride to Mass every Sunday, a self-less act that continued even on the day of his funeral mass when we picked up an elderly friend of my parents who they took to church with them regularly.
Dad recognized the presence of Jesus in all people and merged his beliefs into his everyday life. For example, when working at his Karmelkorn Shoppe, he had small cards printed that said “Jesus in Me loves the Jesus in You!” As his personal spiritual outreach, he left stacks of these cards on the counter next to the candies he sold for customers to take. His customers loved him for his kind, gentle spirit as much as for the delicious products that he made. His candy store was a mission to spread happiness, and he succeeded. When training new employees, he drilled into them his customer service motto that the customer is always right.
Dad took it upon himself to visit people he knew in hospitals and nursing homes. He often told the story about Val, a neighbour in Chicago Heights who was suffering from multiple sclerosis. He visited her just before she died and remembered vividly her face constricted with pain. While on retreat at Our Lady of Fatima Retreat Center at the University of Notre Dame, he looked up at the face of the crucified Christ and saw the face of Val looking down at him. He knew then that she was one with Jesus.
Dad was a believer in miracles. He once took a photo with an inexpensive film camera of the statue of Our Lady of the Snows at her shrine in Belleville, Illinois but knew that it would not come out well because it was so dark just past sunset. Yet when he had the photo developed, it was perfectly exposed. He showed the photo to everyone he could, demonstrating the miracle.
My father relaxing in the alps near Attersee, Austria in July 1945.
Dad was a man of prayer. He carried a rosary, which he made himself out of string, with him during his service in Europe during World War II and knew that it kept him safe from harm. He prayed it often during that time.
We often had a living room full of worshipers when our parish priest and the statue of the Pilgrim Virgin came to our house in Chicago Heights. We all kneeled on the carpeted floor of our home for the 30 minutes that it took to recite the rosary.
A Christmas letter from my sister, Pat, sums up the feelings of most people who knew my dad. It reads:
Merry Christmas, Dad!
I wanted to send you a gift that would express who you are; a sincerely warm, loving, open and giving person.
I wanted to send you a gift that would tell you how much I admire you and try to follow your example.
I wanted to send you a gift that would be as special and unique as you are.
I wanted to send you a gift that would tell you how proud I am to be your daughter.
But I couldn’t find what I was looking for. All I have to offer you this Christmas is to tell you that I love you!
And thank you for who you are!
Every Easter the fountains around Nyon are decorated by local schools, voluntary groups and organisations. From down near the lake, to up into the old town, you can find chicks, eggs, rabbits and flowers amongst all the displays.
One group used just painted plastic bottles for their work of art, a good way to recycle and very effective too.
There are fifteen fountains decorated in total, go check them out and Happy Easter!
Happiness, or lack thereof, has been
getting a lot of press lately. The
latest one was a story covered by Reuters about the greatest likelihood of
depression occurring during midlife. The famed “mid-life crisis” has been
confirmed!
Watercolor by Laura Logan
Economics professors David Blanchflower and
Andrew Oswald, from the University of Warwick in the UK, found an inverted U-shaped curve
showing that European men and women reach a peak of unhappiness around the age
of 46. An interesting gender and geographic difference among the Americans
studied is that American women reach their highest probability of depression at
38.6 years while American men reach their peak at 52.9 years. The researchers
cannot explain these differences.
The researchers looked at statistics in 76
different countries all along the development continuum. The U-shaped curve
existed in countries all along the continuum. Only 21 of these countries showed
no U-shaped happiness curve. But since these countries tended to be developing
countries with small sample sizes, conclusions could not be drawn.
The researchers also cannot explain the
causes for the dip in happiness in middle age. They do, however, take three very
tentative stabs at an explanation.
The first is that we get to know ourselves
along with our strengths and weaknesses as we age. We are able to accept our
weaknesses and maximize our strengths. We are also able to more accurately
assess whether our lifelong dreams will be attained or not and adjust our
aspirations accordingly.
At no other time of the year do so many people think about personal growth
all at the same time. Fifty percent of Americans make resolutions to improve
themselves or their lives in some way during the yearly transition. There is an
overwhelming perception that change is possible. The hope for something new,
different and better in their lives is higher than at any other time of the
year.
This tradition of celebrating the New Year goes back at least 4000 years to
the ancient Babylonians who celebrated it during Spring equinox. The tradition
of making New Year’s resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C. Janus, a mythical king of early Rome was placed at the head of the calendar.
With two faces, Janus could look back on past events and forward to the future.
Janus became the ancient symbol for resolutions.
Have you been swept away in this wave of
positive intentions and made your New Year’s resolutions yet? If not, here is a
list of what other people resolve to do. This may just spark your
introspective self to aspire to new heights. Of the 10 most popular New Year’s goals, four involve physical health related issues, three involve
mental health, two involve social activity and one deals with financial
improvements. Here are the top ten:
- Spend more time with family and friends
- Work out regularly
- Lose weight
- Quit smoking
- Enjoy life more
- Quit or reduce drinking
- Get out of debt
- Learn something new
- Help others
- Get organized
Research shows that 60% of these resolutions will be
broken as of the 6-month mark. The most important factor in preserving the
change is in the process of goal planning and writing.
The most comprehensive assistance for
writing effective resolutions comes from Gary Ryan Blair, “The Goals Guy.” On his site, you are able to download a free
21-page report which details the five stages of successful resolutions, taken
from the psychology of behavior modification, and also lists four important
resolution guidelines. Gary
also provides forms to guide you through the process.
If you don’t want to spend that much time
with it, I suggest that you at least use the S.M.A.R.T. guidelines in writing your resolutions. These
traditional goal-writing guidelines are used to insure that your goals are
specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound.
Suite101.com stated, “A more recently devised goal-setting process called S.A.F.E. combines the best aspects of S.M.A.R.T. with the power of the Law of Attraction.” In the S.A.F.E. procedure, you:
- See
- Accept
- Feel and
- Express your goal.
Whereas S.M.A.R.T. goals may appeal more to the analytical left-brain
dominant types, S.A.F.E goals may appeal more to those who are generally more creative
or right-brain dominant.
Once you have your goals written, check out
these seven recommendations from two University of Maryland psychiatrists
on how to maintain your resolutions.
If you need free online assistance to reach your goals, check out this impressive collection of web application tools at the
website lifehacker, specifically designed to help you manage your New Year’s
resolutions online including the goal areas of financial gain, weight loss and
fitness, calorie management and goal tracking.
And finally, here are some suggestions to stretch those of you who live more from your heads than your hearts. Inspirational personal development expert James
Arthur Ray , featured on the movie, The Secret, gives
the following five suggestions for self-actualizing yourself in 2008.
- Find inspiration and something you are excited about.
- Specify your intentions. Use the S.M.A.R.T. or S.A.F.E. goal
guidelines above. - Maintain attention and focus. “Energy flows where attention goes.”
- Be grateful. See www.gratefulness.org for more information.
- Be enthusiastic! Go three for three by aligning your thoughts with your feelings with your actions.
Happy New Year!
David Schiesher is a psychotherapist practicing in Geneva.
For therapy to be
effective, you need a really good to great relationship with your therapist. The
therapeutic relationship is one of the most curative factors in psychotherapy.
The father of modern American psychotherapy, Carl Rogers, based his work on
this principle. In his classic book, On
Becoming a Person, he explains that therapists must be genuine, have
empathetic understanding and unconditional positive regard for the client. When
these three conditions are met, therapy has the best chance for success.
Dr. Wu’s Healing Art – Peach
You know that feeling
when you’re in the presence of someone with whom you can just let your hair
down? With whom you don’t have to be at your best? With whom you can just be
yourself? With whom you can show all your imperfections and be accepted and
appreciated all the same? That’s the feeling that you want to have when you’re talking
with your therapist.
How do you find such a
healing relationship? Well, how would you find a new friend? Talk to a number of therapists, just call them
on the telephone, until you find one where you are saying to yourself, “I
really like this person.” Of course it would be prudent to also ask them about
their professional experience, training and therapeutic methods. But go with
your intuition on this one. It’s not uncommon for someone to try one or two
before finding the right one.
To find
English-speaking therapists in Geneva,
take a look at these on-line directories: AngloInfo; Counseling in France; XpatXchange. Also, the American
International Women’s Club magazine, Courier, has a good selection of
therapists in the Petites Annonces section.
David Schiesher is a psychotherapist in private practice in Geneva.